The Queen has arrived

So Sarah Jessica Parka had taken her throne at Halston and if I’m totally honest with you I don’t like it. Yes, we all know that she played Carrie Bradshaw, had a wardrobe to die for and a totally amazingly cool apartment (Perry Street of Bleaker-it’s my Nirvana) but we do need to remember that that wasn’t actually her.

Carrie is styled by Patricia Field and when Sarah Jessica Parker is on the red carpet or at any type of event she is given the beautiful dresses she wears. Have you noticed that when she is just kicking about the Big Apple (Sigh) she doesn’t look so great? In fact she looks a bit drab!! Sorry SJP but I just don’t see how you qualify for such an awesome position.

Kate Moss on the other hand can do no wrong. Her Topshop range is just delicious and her new Longchamp bags are worth killing for. Where ever she goes she looks amazing (even drug addled) and us normal people bend over backwards to be like her (minus the drugs). One of my lovely ladies couldn’t even watch the show she did with James Brown because she wanted to keep the air of mystery around Kate Moss alive. Not once have I heard that reference being made about SJP, Carrie maybe but never SJP.

And whilst SJP is sitting pretty with her Este Lauder like perfumes, Kate Moss is rocking it up as Agent Provocateurs’ Miss X. I guess what I am trying to say is that SJP is just a bit boring and people seem to confuse her for Carrie (a bit like everyone fancying R-Patz when in actual fact they fancy Edward). Someone like Victoria Beckham or even Ashley Olsen would have made more sence!!

Serge-a-like Should Come With a Health Warning

In the future I think it best that I meet Serge-a-like in an open field, whilst wearing flats and 100% sober!! Seriously!! After the disaster of the stairs last week I thought that this week would be different. And considering he had already touched me I knew what to expect.

Well, I did not expect the sofa I came in contact with!! Yes that’s right the sofa...I fell over. The horrific thing was that I had already made eye contact and smiled when it happened so HE SAW!!! Honestly this guy must have a secret vendetta against me. Or maybe it was the very strong Mojitos (thank you Bailey), amaretto (thank you me) and sambucas (thank you me again) I was drinking that blinded me, causing me to not see a massive 3 seater which I proceeded to then fall over!!

Nope, defiantly the secret vendetta!!

I might lay low for a week or so. In fact make that lay low until Wednesday (Mojo is having a gig night).

In other news, Clive has discovered that the Baby Giraffe has been on his MySpace and company website (i.e. majorly stalking him). It’s ok though; she told him I went on them to see what bands he has work with. So now I’m a crazy drunk boy mad stalker!! Life just keeps getting better and better.

Thank God The Affordable Vintage fair is in town next weekend. I need some projects to take my mind and eyes off of the male species. I think I might make myself a hi-vis jacket to wear next time I'm out.

Note to self: never try and talk to Serge-a-like on or near a road. The consequences may be fatal.

It's worse when your sober

So after the Serge-a-like events of Saturday, you know when he touched me and I thought I was going to faint, I thought my life couldn’t get any more worse. BUT IT DID. And this time I was SOBER. IN THE GYM.

It was a normal Monday night, the Baby Giraffe and I watched Glee then went to the gym (I do realise 10pm is an odd time to go to such a place but we can barely get up for work in the mornings and our gym is in the opposite direction to Seal Street so all temptation to go out is lost...well almost). The gym was going ok despite the high concentration of men that happened to be there but we figured its Monday so everybody has good intensions.

Anyway, we finished all our cardio so you can imagine how attractive we look and we moved to another floor to start doing sit-ups and things like that. Upon entering this floor we spotted ARMS on the Elliptical and oh boy was he hot...think Abercrombie and Fitch hot. Then whilst I was on some inside leg toner thing and the Baby Giraffe was on some side abs toner thing, ARMS came and lay on the mat next to me and opposite the Baby Giraffe. Well the Baby Giraffe couldn’t even look and I got the giggles and had to move. AND NO JOKES HE MOVED TO THE MACHINE NEXT TO ME!! It was awful; he was tall, broad shoulders, arms that could throw you around some and a face you could stare all day long (and the night).

We left. We had no choice. I was in fits of very girlish giggles. We went to Tesco’s for some food.

THEY WERE IN THERE ASWEL. By the milk. The Baby Giraffe spun on the spot and hid in the “gluten free” isle and I hid behind a freezer, giggling. Worse of all he was with CELLPHONE GUY another fit bit that was at the gym last week and spent the entire time on the phone and working out!!

Why do bad things happen to good people!! The Baby Giraffe is currently sat on the sofa in depression unable to turn the TV on (I better not be missing anything good) and I have just inhaled a chocolate yoghurt with bits of Cadbury’s Flake in it.

I'm considering becoming a hermit!!!

Me Plus One!!!

During one of the usual nights out (I don’t care where I go just as long as I start in Peacock and end up in Bumper) I was ending in Bumper and there he was, the almost love of my life...Serge-a-like. Naturally, the actual love of my life is the actual Serge Pizzorno, guitarists/singer/songwriter/sex God of Kasabian. I decided to make my move and I totally fluffed it. Like OMFG. Allow me to build up to the event that has left me somewhat disheartened.

It was a Saturday night, and just like Friday the Baby Giraffe and I were getting ready for another night out. I was wearing a black lace top with black body-con bustier underneath, high-waisted skirt and River Island feathered ankle boots. One of our friends Miss Welsh came round and we had a couple drinks before embarking on our adventure up the road.

As stated previously we always start in Peacock, however there was a queue so we broke tradition and rolled on over to Mojo. After a quick drink there we back tracked to Peacock, of course Bailey* was behind the bar and of course he made me favourite drink without even needing to order (either he’s into me or I just go there way too much), this isn’t the smoothest thing he does. The night before, the baby giraffe and I was stood at the bar and out of the blue two shot glasses appeared in front of us and about 30 seconds later they were filled with my favourite mint chocolate shot and he just walked off. All without saying a word. Stunned.

Anyway back to the story, after Peacock we hiked on up to Bumper and there he was. The Serge-a-like. With a little push from the baby giraffe and Miss Welsh I decided to try and get his attention. It went downhill from there then. On my ascent I fell down the stairs and fell into some guy, scratching him on his neck (sorry dude) then when I was stood by the bar NEXT to the Serge-a-like I kept on getting pushed and shoved. Not a good look. Serge-a-like was chatting away to his friend and I was so distracted by his voice that I didn’t even notice it was my time to order. The Serge-a-like, after receiving his drink put his hands on my arms and moved past me. Well that was it, I nearly fainted. Not only is he beautiful, but he was wearing a lush trench coat and was deliciously tall...even taller than the baby giraffe in heels!!!!!! I was sooo dazzled by the fact that he touched me I totally forgot what I wanted and ordered a friggin shot of Jagermeister, which I dribbled down my chin!!!

He moved to a different bit of the venue and I drowned my sorrows in a portion of chips and gravy. I’m now living on the hope that I will see him again.

*His name isn’t actually Bailey, just like Serge-a-like isn’t called Serge-a-like and just like Clive, who the baby giraffe is going on a date with, isn’t called Clive. We have a bad habit of not knowing the names of people we really should so we just give them nicknames and see how long we can keep it going.

Burberry, but for who??

I'm sure we have all seen Mario Testino's latest masterpiece-the SS10 Burberry campaigns! And of course the pictures are sensational and the clothes are mouth-wateringly delicious but I can't help but wonder one thing...the age of the people in the campaign??

I will admit that what I am about to say is 40% down to the fact that I am envious that Emma Watson gets to parade around in the most beautiful clothes, with some rather good looking boys and be photographed by a legend.

But it is concerning. The actress, musicians and baby bro are all 21 and under, essentially making the target audience for this campaign MATURE TEENS!! Could you imagine someone in their 30s looking in these pics and thinking "yes, I shall have that dress" NO is the answer people!! She will more than likely be thinking "I like that dress, but it's more suited for you young things". As for the men who shop there, well apparently they are going to be looking like they have hit a quarter life crises dressing like 2 year old indie boys.

Young things cannot afford £900 trench coats.

I just don't get it. Did Christopher Bailey just decide to sod all the marketing techniques this season (by the way I study PR, so I tend to think along these lines like all the time).

Admittedly, previous campaigns haven’t exactly featured the older generation but Agyness Dean, Lily Dawson and co. attract those who are maybe in their late 20's and can afford such pieces. What normal 17 year old do you know kicking around Glasto with Burberry wellies or walking into 2nd period maths with a small Marlow patent shoulder bag??

If anybody knows the reason behind this please enlighten me!!!

xoxo

Ladies, take your seats. The show is about to begin!!

I can't eat (as much as I usually do), I can't sleep and I'm on edge (I even shouted at my yogalates DVD this morning because I couldn't get my breathing right; relaxing? I think not!!!). This must mean only one thing...Fashion Week is nearly upon us. I can't help it, it’s like swine flu-you can't escape it (speaking of which are we still in this pandemic?? The last thing we need is Bailey getting all ill). I have all these thoughts like what if a model falls or I don't like anything or all the editors don't like anything or nobody turns up because they're all snowed in or kitten heels are making a huge come back. As I live in none of the locations I spend the whole time glued to my laptop and Blackberry, checking all blogs, tweets and videos. I should change my name to anti-social Lolita.



Oh and it doesn't stop there. No no!! After fashion weeks we are greeted with the BAFTAs, Oscars NME Awards and Brit Awards. Who's wearing what, who's with who, are R Patz and K Stuart going to go together? Will Pete get busted for drugs? Will Serge finally declare his undying love for me when he wins sexiest male in existence, ever!!! Who will give the longest and tearful speech? Who will win what!!!


My mind is in overdrive.


All nervous dispositions aside I do have a personal request though. If Viv could do something truly fantastic and amazing in her show that would be fab. I'm doing my dissertation on her you see, and would love something more to add!!! Thank you!!

xoxo

I heart Lulu

During a recent trip to Waterstones to find a PR book I accidently* fell upon the most fabulous Lulu Guinness book named Put Your Pearls On Girls. Not only is it a chic pop-up book, it has a foreword written by the oh so fab Helena Bonham Carter.

After reading it I felt so amazingly inspired and so fantastically happy. I loved it that much that I made the baby Giraffe read it and then made it a flat rule that we have to read it at least once a day.

It is the guide to life. Fact.

*By accidently I mean I went into the biggest Waterstones I’ve ever seen and rather than make a b-line for the business management section I detoured to another section of the shop, waded through all the self help books and placed myself firmly between the well-being section and the maternity section. I then proceeded to look at every single book on the fashion shelves before coming across Lulu’s little number.

I then ran for the checkout, paid and ran out the shop back home. Never did get that text book, I’m sure they have a copy in the library.

xoxo

Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat

The frosty wind stung my face, the bitter cold ate at my hands (normally I would be wearing my Ugg mittens but I left them at the M&S self-service), the ice on the floor made walking dangerous and my bloody over the knee boot kept falling down. I was thirsty and hungry from the walk. But despite all the elements being against me I made it to my destination.

Yes kids that’s right, I made the 3 minute walk from my flat to Baby Blue on the Albert Docks!! And why do I hear you ask, have I risked my life on a Sunday morning to go to such a place?? The answer is this...Pill-Box Vintage Fair!!

It was my first step into the vintage world and I liked it. It was a lot smaller than I anticipated and really rather dark but I figured this to be a good thing as anything to big and I might have had an early afternoon breakdown!! Plus, the baby giraffe overslept so I was all on my own.

About 35 minutes later my purchases (a long knitted jumper complete with bow and pockets, a silk scarf and a paisley print long sleeved dress) and I left, slightly warmed from the shopping high and ready to embark on the dangerous walk home.

Just to clarify, I made home ok. The baby giraffe approves of my buys, which means that I wasn’t blinded by all the shiny things.

Are you going to say 2010 or 010 or just 10??

You know those moments you have when your sat watching Hollyoaks, with loads of uni work to do and your health obsessed flatmates nipped out to JD to buy some more yoga pants and you think "God my life is dull". Well, I've just experienced such a moment.

I'm not sure if it's because I've just turned 21, or its a new decade and a new start kinda thing or because Hollyoaks is crap and I desperatly need to get a life but I've decided to make some resolutions.

Not boring ones like "drink less" or "diet" but achievable and fun ones like learn to sew, customise clothes(like many I tend to just shop at Topshop and it's not fun seeing someone in the same outfit as you) and shop more vintage. They are all things I have always wanted to do, but never got round to it(I'm a big fan procastination).

And to keep me focused I shall be posting all my adventures on this blog..the successes and the failures(and being me there will be many). So here's to the New Year. Cheers!!

xoxo